How to Dress Rich
The best part about being rich is looking rich. But you don’t need to be in the 1% to dress like it. If your bank account is more “plastic spoon” than “silver spoon,” not to worry—follow these tips to look like you’ve got it made. No trust fund needed.
1. Dress out of season.
Nothing says “affluence” like rocking a golden tan and platform sandals in the middle of winter. A fur coat at the beach or sunglasses in the rain let everyone know you’re far too loaded to consider the weather. Anyway, you probably just flew in from St. Tropez.
2. Put your money where your head is.
From JFK to Darth Vader, the elite are known for their fancy-pants headwear. Throw on a beret, a derby hat, or a couple of tiaras and you’ll look the part from head to toe.
3. Smell like money.
Looking well-off isn’t enough—you need to smell like it, too. Put down that Chanel No. 5 (so passé) and dab a few Benjamins on your inner wrist, elbows, and behind the ears. Everyone around you will think you spent your morning literally swimming in dough.
4. Wear impractical clothing.
White silk pants? Impossibly high platforms? Why stop there? Try a linen leotard with riding boots or a skimpy dress held on only by double-sided tape. Sensible clothes are for the middle class.
5. Always be overdressed.
The moneyed classes are perpetually well-dressed. Showing up to brunch in a tuxedo and pumping gas in an evening gown indicates that you definitely have somewhere fancier to be.
6. Always be underdressed.
The rich basically invented not giving a &*@%. For your next black-tie event, bust out your laundry-day sweatpants and everyone will know you’re living in the lap of luxury.
7. Wear white.
From New Year’s Eve in Rio de Janeiro to P. Diddy’s White Party in the Hamptons, there’s something about all-white clothing that screams opulence. Just remember, the key to rocking white is really committing to it.
8. Dress for a wealthy hobby.
Horseback riding, polo, yachting, water ballet—take your pick and dress the part. Everyone will think you just came from the country club.
Need we say more?